I have been trying to think of something profound and interesting to write on my blog because of Christmas and the new year but nothing profound has come to me.
This time of the year is hard for all those who have lost a child. Most days of the year you can get by hiding and not facing the reality of your life. There are some days that simply smack you in the face and force you to face reality.
There are a few of those days for me – Christmas, Clea’s birthday, my birthday and Clea’s death day. Christmas, not because I care about Christmas, but because Clea just loved Christmas. It was the most exciting part of the year as far as she was concerned. We went to the cemetery that day and wished her a merry Christmas. Then we had lunch with her grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins. It breaks my heart to even begin to think of what she is missing.
Then there is her birthday. Clea would be 11 years old tomorrow (3 January). I’ve made some cupcakes and I’ll mix the pink icing soon once the cakes have cooled. We’ll take one to the cemetery and wish her a happy birthday.
New year is just another day. It’s the start of another year without Clea but it’s not a smack in the face day. Our lives continue. What happened to hers?
It doesn’t really matter what day it is. I miss Clea every day.